Thinking About Nickel Every Moment of Every Day
IHateNickel Posted on Thursday, August 15, 2013 at 2:18PM Spontaneity used to be one of my charms. Spontaneity is now regarded with suspicion and fear. I cannot just go with the flow. I must know ahead of time where the flow is going, what the flow is made out of, and what it will be serving for dinner.
I don’t like feeling like I have to think about nickel every moment of every day. I love sharing the stories about my nickel allergy and everything I’ve learned along the way, but it can still be very personal and painful at times. Constantly thinking, researching, and writing about it can make me feel like I’m wallowing in self-pity. I’d rather be watching a sunset, watching TV, or doing anything else other than sitting at my computer researching diets and rashes. I don’t like feeling like my life is ruled by my nickel allergy.
But let’s face it, in some ways it is. Every decision I make is processed in some way through a nickel filter.
Do we meet friends for dinner this Friday? --> Does the restaurant have an allergen or ingredient list? If not, do they have anything that looks safe for me to eat? If not, do I eat dinner before we go, so we can still be social, or do we decline the invitation altogether?
Do I go on that trip? --> What will I eat while I’m travelling? Should I book a more expensive hotel with a restaurant so that I can order room-service, which is a safer bet than eating fast-food? What happens if I’m not able to follow the diet, especially if it’s a long trip? If I get nickel-sick, do I have enough time off from work so that when I come back from the trip, I can call off sick? Is the trip worth the risk?
I’m tired and not feeling well today --> Did I eat something I shouldn’t have? Was I exposed to nickel somehow and didn’t realize it? Or am I just coming down with a regular cold?
Should I buy this cute bathing suit? --> It’s got metal buckles on the straps, wonder if those are nickel? It’s an expensive brand, so maybe it’s safe? Do I buy it, test it at home with my nickel-testing kit, and return it if it is nickel? Even if it tests ok, when it gets wet, could nickel still leach out of the buckles anyway and cause a rash?
So many questions go through my head at every decision point! Every plan or action must be run though my nickel filter before decisions can be made. 
I get angry at my husband when he "forgets" and doesn’t take into account my nickel allergy when he makes plans or does the shopping. Really, that’s not fair of me. I can barely keep up with all the rules myself; asking someone else to stay on top of it all is selfish and unrealistic.
I calm myself by doing the “one day at a time” chant. You know the one – just take things one day at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Tackle one thing at a time before moving on to the next and eventually it will all get done. It has gotten easier; the nickel filter comes more naturally now. (Does this have nuts in it? Don’t buy the bra with the metal clasps. Run the tap a few minutes before using the water). Many of these day-to-day things I do without thinking now, but there are always new battles.
I want normalcy. I tell myself that my life is not ruled by my nickel allergy, but I know that is not entirely true. My life revolves around a series of questions to be asked to determine the nickel content of all that is around me. My actions are being continuously strained through a nickel filter. I write, I tell stories, and I research because my life is ruled by my nickel allergy. Some days I’m ok with that. Some days I'm not.
Reader Comments (5)
It is so true. This allergy in particular is certainly consuming. If we just had to avoid nuts that would be a different story. Nickel is in most foods and most things we touch regularly. I definitely agree as time goes on it gets better to adjust to this new life. Luckily I have always been really interested in foods. I love to cook, bake, eat and drink but now I have to shift my thought process. I was always really focused on healthy options (all the foods we can't eat) so now I am trying new recipes with the least amount of Nickel possible but still somewhat healthy. I grilled steak tips the other night with a fantastic "steak house" marinade. With it I grilled corn on the cob and made my own version of a "salad" wtih cucumbers, fresh mozz cheese balls and home grown cherry tomatoes. Very yummy! My biggest challenge with my diet shift is the elimination of chocolate. I would love to hear what you are all using for chocolate substitues. :)
I hear ya, girl. Those words could have been coming out of my own mouth. My sweetie, Adam, is so tired of hearing me tell people about my food allergies, and nickel stuff... But I HAVE TO! I carry around a card that I present to servers when we are out, that covers everything. They can take it right back to the chef and check on it and I don't fear that anything has gotten lost in communication. But, It's embarrassing. I feel like a freak. And then there are days when my hands are breaking out and I think, "WHAT DID I EAT!?" And I can't figure it out. Did I NOT let the water run this morning? CHECK. Am I reacting to the cast iron now? HMMM. Am I reacting to the water pipes of this new place we moved into last week? AHHHHH.
Yes, life goes on.... itch, itch itch.
Also, to comment on E.Rice: You may want to rule out tomatoes and carrots as well. They are known nickel carriers.
I developed a nickel allergy about a year ago after I delivered my son. I had a severe rash for 4 months and blisters all over my hands and feet. A few ER visits and not being able to use my hands by the time my son turned 5 months they finally figured out I was allergic to nickel. I have avoided most foods but really don't go long without blisters on my hands and occasionally my throat swells. It feels like I am an alien to people when it comes to food and that I hold a large sign that says "huge inconvenience" in regards to meals. This week (I know, over a year later!) I am finally accepting it and getting really serious about what I eat. I was a vegetarian and enjoyed eating healthy foods that I unfortunately have to avoid. Just makes me sad sometimes...total bummer. Don't know what you believe spiritually but I am a Christian and have been trying to reconcile why God would keep me from healthy foods! I am reminded that the Israelites in the desert in the Old Testament were in the desert for 40 days and only got manna from God and I'm sure it was white bread and not wheat with oats!! This is somewhat comforting that things are not as they should be and I can't wait to get my new body in heaven and eat chocolate all day!
Colleen, I agree with you about looking forward to a new body in
Heaven. I was just diagnosed with nickel allergy after years of suffering
I have been in misery for 3 months this episode and 3 trips to
the er because my face keeps swelling up to the point
that I can barely see
Colleen, your post made me laugh. It is SO important to have a good laugh about all this as often as possible, or else we will drive ourselves mad. Perhaps we should have those "huge inconvenience" signs made into t-shirts that we can all wear out to dinner! :)
Stay Positive!